Evidence of Grace

"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."
II Corinthians 12:9

Again and again, I am humbled by the truth of this scripture. God's grace is truly sufficient and it is only by His power that I am able to do or be anything of worth. As I look back at my life, the challenging circumstances, the numerous failures, the fits and starts... I see evidence of God's grace just as I see the snow that covers our mountains after a good storm. It is unmistakeable and beautiful; it inspires awe and humility.

One of the greatest evidences of grace in my life is in the area of anger. Anger was my constant companion for years, it was a burden that seemed impossible to unload. Daily my family suffered from it, I crumbled under it, the enemy triumphed through it - hopeless and life draining, I felt deep in a pit that had no escape. Everyday I felt angry, everyday I struggled to cope with normal things. I knew in my head that it was destructive, it threatened to destroy me. That could be borne more than the destruction and damage to my family.

The evidence of God's grace starts here... BUT God did not leave me there. He rescued me! Not overnight, but by His sovereign will, over a period of a few years. I'm not sure if the sin was so deeply wrought in my heart or if I was just a really slow learner but God is sovereign. Plus the lesson learned slowly and painfully is not easily (or quickly) forgotten. It truly was one bloody battle at a time, one bible verse wielded like a sword at each strike of the enemy. Oh and the battles raged!

God brought into my life a battle companion, the woman who discipled me through those years. Yet another evidence of grace, my Bonnie said yes to meet with me not knowing the years of diligence and toil it would take. Yes God is good to keep these things from our view!! Think of the things we would never do if we knew. Bless her heart- she was my angel of mercy.

Drawing near to God's word and His people was key to turning the battle around. Like a giant ship trying turn against a powerful tide, at times it seemed as though the ocean and waves were too overwhelming for me to turn the ship around. Even if I didn't explode and yell, my heart still raged yet God poured out His grace abundantly, covering my sins again and again, forgiving me, giving my family patience and grace to endure. It was as though I crawled through those years on my knees begging for God's mercy and asking for forgiveness.

In spite of myself, God has redeemed those years and given us a home of peace, love and grace. Not a week goes by that I am not overwhelmed by that amazing work of grace in my life. That fire was hotter and harder to endure than I could've imagined BUT to have not gone through it would have been hell on earth for me and those around me. God's grace is abundantly sufficient, He is my strength, He deserves all the glory. Hallelujah!