Evidence of Grace

"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."
II Corinthians 12:9

Again and again, I am humbled by the truth of this scripture. God's grace is truly sufficient and it is only by His power that I am able to do or be anything of worth. As I look back at my life, the challenging circumstances, the numerous failures, the fits and starts... I see evidence of God's grace just as I see the snow that covers our mountains after a good storm. It is unmistakeable and beautiful; it inspires awe and humility.

One of the greatest evidences of grace in my life is in the area of anger. Anger was my constant companion for years, it was a burden that seemed impossible to unload. Daily my family suffered from it, I crumbled under it, the enemy triumphed through it - hopeless and life draining, I felt deep in a pit that had no escape. Everyday I felt angry, everyday I struggled to cope with normal things. I knew in my head that it was destructive, it threatened to destroy me. That could be borne more than the destruction and damage to my family.

The evidence of God's grace starts here... BUT God did not leave me there. He rescued me! Not overnight, but by His sovereign will, over a period of a few years. I'm not sure if the sin was so deeply wrought in my heart or if I was just a really slow learner but God is sovereign. Plus the lesson learned slowly and painfully is not easily (or quickly) forgotten. It truly was one bloody battle at a time, one bible verse wielded like a sword at each strike of the enemy. Oh and the battles raged!

God brought into my life a battle companion, the woman who discipled me through those years. Yet another evidence of grace, my Bonnie said yes to meet with me not knowing the years of diligence and toil it would take. Yes God is good to keep these things from our view!! Think of the things we would never do if we knew. Bless her heart- she was my angel of mercy.

Drawing near to God's word and His people was key to turning the battle around. Like a giant ship trying turn against a powerful tide, at times it seemed as though the ocean and waves were too overwhelming for me to turn the ship around. Even if I didn't explode and yell, my heart still raged yet God poured out His grace abundantly, covering my sins again and again, forgiving me, giving my family patience and grace to endure. It was as though I crawled through those years on my knees begging for God's mercy and asking for forgiveness.

In spite of myself, God has redeemed those years and given us a home of peace, love and grace. Not a week goes by that I am not overwhelmed by that amazing work of grace in my life. That fire was hotter and harder to endure than I could've imagined BUT to have not gone through it would have been hell on earth for me and those around me. God's grace is abundantly sufficient, He is my strength, He deserves all the glory. Hallelujah!

Of Wildflowers and Gratefulness

Taking a thoughtful walk through a broad meadow, a young girl pauses to take in the world around her. As she drinks deeply of it all, a lone wildflower left over from the great burst of spring catches her eye. She wonders at its beauty, its tenacity. Approaching it, she stoops lower to marvel at the wildflower blushing purple. Its lovely face upturned toward heaven, expectant to receive the good gifts it receives every day... the dew, the sun, the breeze, the busy bees. Her thoughts turn to her own life, comparing herself to that one flower.

"God takes care of this flower, will He not much more care for me?"

"Interesting," she thinks, "how this little flower reflects faith and hope. How it has endured to the end of spring, stands alone and still has an upturned face. How beautiful it is, it seems almost grateful. Had I not taken the time to stop and look around me, I might have missed this precious gift. Funny, I had to stoop lower to really see all of this. I wonder if this is the way it works, if stooping lower is the path to gratefulness. Is stooping lower the only way to really see the good gifts? Surely there are gifts I receive everyday just like this flower. Even the gifts this flower receives are gifts that I receive I suppose."

"What is it that scripture says?" She pulls a small bible from her skirt pocket. Turning the pages to Matthew 6 she reads softly to herself, "Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!" (v. 28-30)

Humbled by the thought, she sits next to the flower to turn her own face heavenward and bows her heart in grateful praise.

Humility and Grace

I Corinthians 15:10

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain, but I labored more abundantly than they all; yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me."

Grace is the divine influence upon our hearts and it's reflection in our life. God has bestowed His grace upon us and it is not in vain- not hidden and neglected but stirred up and worked out through spiritual disciplines. This grace, then, is not from within ourselves but from "without" - God must apply His grace to our lives. That grace is freely given as a gift in order that it would be demonstrated in our lives for His glory.

Because grace is a gift from God, it is His work in our lives as we walk in obedience to His will. This is not of ourselves - humility is necessary in order to walk in grace. Humbly acknowledging that we cannot do it without Him, we need His grace to pour into our hearts so we can then in turn pour it out on others.

Extending grace to others is a humbling experience, we must lay down our rights and our expectations. We are unworthy of His grace yet He abundantly bestows it upon us, we have no grounds to withhold grace from those around us. If we are willing to be humbled then grace will begin to flow more freely out of our lives and God will be able to use us for His glory.