Transitions and such

Transition, change, new season, whatever you call it, it's an adjustment. An adjustment (or adjustments) that needs to be made in order to move forward in life. Sometimes these adjustments are welcome, sometimes not so much. Nevertheless, there it is... a change that needs to be made.

You know, I have found that, generally, change is something that I look forward to mainly because I get a little bored with "same". Every once in a while I have to gear up for change then I'm good. Case in point, where I stand today is a place in time I knew was coming, I was excited about it, and was curious what would come next. What I didn't expect was the sense of loss I felt when it got here. It crept up on me slowly, imperceptably kind of like a low lying fog that you only see in the open spaces.

Funny how you can think you're ready for something and can even appear ready for it yet get a bit blindsided by some aspect you thought you had considered. There it was, that low lying fog, slowly impairing my vision, my ability to see the future with the same passion, optimism, and energy. When the fog cleared a little I realized I lacked a sense of purpose, my role had changed so dramatically that I felt lost in the process. Plans I had formulated years ago had not materialized, life had not converged with those plans- not positionally nor financially.

When all was said and done, I had to grieve the loss of what I knew I was going to lose and grieve the loss of what I thought would be but didn't have. Meanwhile, accepting this new place in life by finding a new passion, a new purpose, a new vision. Without vision, I began to perish inside and I could not allow that to be where I stayed. But how to find it?

My solution? I just needed to step out and do what was in front of me with passion, pour myself into whatever it was. Live the life I have today, not missing opportunities to learn, grow, contribute. Where did I get that strength? At the foot of the cross, laying down my ideas of what should be and trusting that my sovereign God has a plan that is so much better than what I could dream up for myself.